Post by ricci on Nov 6, 2011 17:51:32 GMT -5
Tenveren; 41 turns; Dragonless ex Weyrleader of deceased Bronze Enpiceth
Black and White
Something
Long
Name of Character: Tenveren
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Family Ties:
Mother: Atarin of Red Ajurth (Age + 30)
Father: En'kar of Brown Soralth (Age + 34)
Brother: A'vast of Brown Pirath (age + 10)
-Nephew: Galanaven of Bronze Galansk
Half-Brother: Denver (13) by En'kar and Damana of Green Damask
Daughters: Tivilia (19), Maren (14) of Green Amoth, Thianva (10), Vaai (8), Amarvi (4)
Sons: A'vel of Bronze Kirnth (22), V'nel of Green Shourshoth (20), Ar'en of Blue Kadasoth (17), S'verkis (14) of Green Tamanith, Mairevaairen (10), Delevar (2)
Note: Mairevaairen, Vaai and Amarvi are by deceased Sr. Weyrwoman Maai.
Appearance:
Tenveren stands at a nonthreatening 5'9". When Enpiceth was alive, he stood with pride, giving him a taller appearance, allowing him to not look shrimpy and weak next to the overconfident Maai. But now, he hunches over darkly. Somehow, his anger gives him a larger-than-life feel nevertheless. He is a brown skinned man, one who once was known for his babyface, and still would be were it not for the empty anger in his eyes. His face is round, his cheeks chipmunkesque. If it weren't for the facial hair he always sports, he would be thought perhaps to be a teenager, and not the middle-aged man he is. Indeed, even with his facial hair, even given every stress that has ever come his way, Ten looks... Young. Twenty five, maybe less by most guesses. But no, he's decidedly over 40.
Once, even as serious as Ten usually was, he would give his smiles on a regular basis. He would laugh with his children, he would even smile with Maai, who almost never smiled. He would smile when his Wing performed well. Dimples pocked his cheeks, and his eyes would light up with interest and approval. But Ten does not smile anymore. The closest he gets is a sad non-expression, when the gravity of the loss of Enpiceth hits him hard in the gut. He rarely looks anybody in the eye anymore. When he does, trouble is coming. It means he has targeted you as a method of ignoring his own pain.
Tenveren is a broadly built man, made for hard work. Given his dragonriding heritage, nobody should be surprised. Muscles travel along his body in thick bulges. He is not the lean type of strong, though. Instead, a layer of cellulose covers his whole body, giving him a softer appearance than one would expect. Given his attitude these days, it certainly does not suit.
As far as his facial features go, he has a low, smooth, unwrinkled forehead that sits above eyebrows that, while not skimpy, do seem a tad thin for his face. Deep set round near-black eyes are settled just beneath his brows. Some of the few signs of his age can be found here, in and around his eye region, with exhaustion wrinkles found in shallow bags beneath his eyes and in the crows feet that speak not of laughter but of squinting in the sun. His nose is somewhat broad, but given his large cheeks seems just the right size for his face. Again, his cheeks and chin are covered with stubble, and these days it is often haphazardly hacked back to short lengths, giving it a clumsy, ragged appearance. His lips are thick and supple, but they are no longer used for tenderness or smiles.
Tight, tiny curls wrap about the top of his head. More often than not, they are shaved so close that while there is still hair there, there isn't enough of it for it to even curl once.
Along his body, more than a few Thread scars adorn his body from his many, many turns of fighting Thread. The most notable one travels from his neck, digging into his shoulder before reemerging along his back. That injury barely missed his bones, bones that would have been unable to regrow from such a loss. His left arm, as a result, cannot be lifted all the way, as part of his deltoid was eaten through, along with a portion of his trapezius, which makes it difficult for him to lift his left shoulder as in a shrug. It took a full two turns for him to get back into the air after that particular injury, and rehabilitation continued for another five or six turns beyond that. It still pains him at times, with nerves finding themselves up against massive walls of collagen scar tissue, but he still managed to fight Thread after that. He would have fought Thread for another several decades if he had the choice, but it's hard to fly when your dragon's stolen from you.
Personality:
Was: Conservative, Disciplined, Realist, Determined, Perspicacious, Easily Embarassed, Envious, Prone to Alcohol Abuse
Now Is: Envious, Alcoholic, Cruel, Without Boundaries, Homophobic, Risk-Taking, Abusive, Abrasive, Dangerous
Once, not long ago Tenveren was known as a decent leader. Though Maai would never let him be the Weyrleader he had the capability of being, T'veren had been a well-respected Wingleader. he could command much, he was without being compassionate, nevertheless a good, firm, and caring man. He had viewed the world without rose tints and without clouds over his head, seeing things as they were. He knew that he had urges inside of himself that were not respectable, but he knew also how to withhold himself from ever committing such acts. He had been, perhaps, not the ideal father, but he had not been a bad father. Even when he had tried to disown his second child for Impressing a Green, thus indicating his son's preference. He ultimately, with difficulty, had come to terms with his son being gay, at least outwardly. He looked at things realistically: Greenriders were one the most important assets of the Weyr. More important in his opinion than lumbering Bronzes and Browns who could not make those hairpin turns that Greens could manage. When Sanaverkanis became S'verkis of Green Amoth, he had told his young son who he barely knew that he was proud.
He was an especially good father to Vaai, Amarvi, and his son Mairevaairen, each by Maai. Perhaps it was their Weyrwoman mother that caught his attention, though, because Delevar, born two turns after Amarvi, was completely forgotten in the mess. So he wasn't necessarily a family man, and occasionally when things were tough he'd hit the bottle a little hard. He would blush ruddy through dark brown cheeks easily any time anybody said anything that was even slightly embarassing to him, but he had a sense of humor, even with his jealousy of others. He was a good man. Not the best man, but a good man.
That was before Maai was murdered. That was before Grenth's madness. That was before he lost Enpiceth.
T'veren died that day.
What had been a minor attribute in his envious nature became the first and foremost, his jealousy of all things pleasant or beautiful. Suddenly, there was no sense of responsibility. Not only does he occasionally hit the bottle. He lives in it. He went from being willing to try and accept his gay sons to mocking them publically. He gets into fights readily over nearly nothing, uses his knowledge of the Weyr against them. Having been Weyrleader for more than ten turns, Ten knows each member of the Fighting Weyr personally, has their files filed away in his memory. He knows how to pull out pieces of information that can cripple his opponent, sending once-friends into rages that justify fist fights that leave Ten in the infirmary periodically. But Ten gets out, and he gets out quickly.
He is enjoying his cruel ways. He likes to sneak behind women of any age and whisper crude things in their ear, holding them threateningly tight before he lets them go. It's only a matter of time before he follows through with the words he says.
It is as if Enpiceth never existed. Enpiceth, who had been a noble knight type of Bronze, who had Impressed his realist T'veren for the positive qualities. But Ten askews those qualities. He wants nothing to remind him of Enpiceth. Even the last vestiges of his humanity will be thrown away for the sake of forgetting what he had.
If he isn't starting fights with or sexually harassing the Weyrfolk, he is spending time with his children. A'vel, V'nel, Ar'en, Mairevaairen. Tivila, Vaai, Amarvi. His youngest son is forgotten, his 14 turn olds avoiding him, his ten turn old daughter's mother keeping him away from her. And rightly so. He's a danger to his children. Perhaps A'vel and V'nel and Ar'en are capable of protecting themselves, but even Tivila at nineteen is at risk, a pretty thing she is. But at risk for what? All that is known is that once the visits are over, Maai's children act out angrily in response to the things Ten said to them, and Tivila has half-a-mind to leave the Weyr for good. But Ten instilled something important in all of them from a young age, back when Ten was still a man, and not a monster.
"Blood is thicker than water."
Even if he crosses lines he never thought to cross before, his family will return to him. How could they leave their father behind?
History:
When asked by V'nel of Green Shourshoth, while in the infirmary in the first days after Enpiceth's death, about what he would be doing next. V'nel got a good deal more informatin than he wanted, but given that Ten had been sneaking extra doses of fellis and mixing it with his wine, he couldn't surprised.
Me? I was supposed to do great things. Atarin, En'kar. They loved me. Now, since that day... since that wicked beast took my Enpiceth...
En'kar and Atarin, dragonriders in their own right, still amongst the fighting wings despire their advanced age. Glad to have gotten the chance to fight what they trained for. Powerful people, lovers until the end of life I imagine. I have never found anybody who has grabbed my heart like that. Maai came close, but Maai would not let me in. If she had, perhaps she would still be here. Perhaps Enpiceth would still... be here.
I joined Anavasitir in the creche when I was born. Accidents, we were. Atarin did not want to take off from her duties, but take off from her duties she had to. We were spaced far. Anavasitir was ten turns my senior. I did not know him until we both flew in the same Wing. Not really. I knew of him, he knew of me, but we had no reason to communcate. Why bother? We had half a generation between us, and by the time I was a Candidate, he had a Weyrmate and two sons. Or at least, a son and the son of his Weyrmate. A wicked story that is, too, but this is not about my nephew or my brother.
If Enpiceth were here, perhaps I could think.
I was fourteen when he came to me. I was forty one when he left. What is forty one sans fourteen? Twenty something? Less than thirty, for sure. It's not fair. Not enough. Yours is still alive. But he's dead, because of insanity, because of Southern.
I remember my first flight, Vernel. I do. We were nearly graduated. She was a Silver, turns ahead of our class. Boy were the boys jealous when we won them. She could have been your mother if she hadn't gone off and died. Her body was delectable, and sharing her with Enpiceth, just as she shared me with her Azordath... But she died a turn later. Firehead. Fucking tragedy that was. Not that she wanted anything to do with me. I was sixteen and arrogant, she was nearly twenty five and done with teenagers and Weyrlings. But she felt amazing.
When Anavastir Impressed his Brown, En'kar and Atarin, you know. They came to me and talked to me and told me that some day I'd be riding a dragon like that. They told me they knew great things were coming my way. Bullshit. It should have been better to have died as a babe than to have lived through this Hell.
And then there was Maai. She caught my eye the instant she became a Candidate. I didn't only lust for her, Vern, I needed her. I needed her like I didn't ever need a woman. I caught her, once, before she Impressed, you know? Sixteen precious turns when I first had her. A sly thing she was though. Stole my stash of marks right out of my Weyr before I woke. I was pissed.
Yeah, that's right. I had her before that wicked beast did. Imagine that, I'd have her again within turns.
My mother once warned me when I was a child to not let things get to my head. I got accused once, a woman said I tried to have my way with her. I was seventeen then. This was before any of you had been born. Don't remember how I got out of it, but I've been curious ever since. What if I had done it to her? What does it feel like when it's forced? When it's my choice, and never hers? Have you ever tried? No? That's right, you dirty fag.
Don't look at me like that. You are, and you know it. You're my son though. I love you, Vernel, really. And I aint lying. But you know, it was what I dreamed of last night. There are some pretty young things in the Weyr now. And many don't have homes to run back to.
Anvelen was the best thing I've ever done. Maye that's what Atarin and En'kar meant. I had Anvelen, and yeah, he didn't Impress first, but he Impressed Bronze. Just like his dad did. The only one of my damned children to manage it. The rest are stuck with Blues and Greens or nothing at all, but Anvelen. He's himself a bronze.
Yeah, I know you Impressed first. Damn pissed me off, too. Don't know what you'd bother with them men for. It's one thing if your dragon caught a Green. I don't care what happens then. The sex is good when your dragon's involved, sex is very good, especially when you're lost in the air. But no. My first son to Impress is you, a fag. I love you son, I love you, I do. But why the dick, son? Why do you have to handle the dick? Sanaverkanis, too. Wouldn't be surprised if you two like to cuddle up with eachother. That's what fags do, right? Don't care about no morals?
You're lying. I'm sure you do horrible things to eachother. You and Sanaverkanis and Aralverenim. And I swear to ou, if you get Mairevaairen into that nonsense...if you touch him. Don't you dare. Sick bastards. I love you all, but sick bastards you are, engaging in those things outside of flights.
And Tivila. Light of my life, you know. Such a pretty thing. If she weren't my daughter... She came after you... and I think Maren and Sanaverkanis came around the same time. Different women. See what you can do when you like the ladies, son? You can leave a fucking legacy. That's what you do. I think they Impressed the same time, didn't they? They did, right? Greens. Necessary as they are to the Weyr, they are not necessary to my family line. Whatever.
The important ones are the ones Maai and me had. She told me she would punch herself in the gut before she'd have a child. Any child. And here I am with three of them. Vaai. Amarvi. My son Mairevaairen. I think I had another child... yes, three... four years ago?
You know En'kar had his third kid a turn after Maren and Sanaverkanis? Denver? Real prat. Beats the fucking shit out of his mom's other kid or whatever. Tried to stop it once because En'kar asked me too, since I was Weyrleade... Weyrleader and all. But y'know, he's a little faggy bastard. A good asskicking won't hurt him. Not in my family.
Back when I first won Maai, she was pliant. Her maiden flight, she was mine. It was almost like she was virginal, even though I'd had her already. Dragons change things. Give you back your innocence. Only fucking reason to live, dragons are. And he's gone. Because that wicked beast of a Gold took her from me. I want to tear Maai's moulding corpse limb from limb for what she did to me. If she had just fucking let me in... but no. Nothing, nothing could distract her. I was just another one of her pawns. Another fucking piece in her arsenal of whatever. Fuck her, fuck her memory. If I could shit on her grave I would. That's what I'll do next, son. I'll shit on her memory.