Post by eightbit on Sept 6, 2011 20:09:28 GMT -5
Username: eightbit
Character Number: One!
Name: Temaeis (T'mae? T'mis? Fff, someone help me choose an honorific please! Sohorribleatthis...)
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Homosexual (But he claims otherwise)
Rank: Candidate
Wing: Groundcrew
Status: Healthy
Appearance:
Too short to be anything but barely average and built in a way that could be called 'lithe' at best and 'scrawny' at worst, Temaeis dearly wishes he had been grown a half foot more and bulked up at least a little bit more. He's always been the runt of the family, though. He didn't hit his growth spurt until his late teens, and counts his blessings to be the 5'9" he is instead of the 5'2" he was for much of his early teens. He's always worked hard to keep himself in shape and is fairly athletic, but he's just not built to be a big guy. Working out just makes him lose wight instead of bulking up, forming toned muscles into a lithe form. His eyes are blue and hair is brown. He keeps it cut so it never gets too shaggy, since it tends to be out of hand enough as it is. It tends to rest in a disheveled mess, though he does take care to make sure it's not too messy. Though it's not like he cares that much how it looks or what people think of how he looks in general.
...What? He really doesn't... Why don't you look convinced?
Okay, so maybe he does. He deliberately tries to keep himself looking good, but not like he tried too hard. Which is rather paradoxical, but such is Temaeis in a nutshell. He carries himself tall and strong, in a way that would seem to fit a bigger man. When no one is looking or he's just stopped caring, though? He slouches. In fact if one bothers to look closed enough, they can spot the signs that there's more going on with him. He tends to have bags under his eyes, and subtle little signs of how tired and strained he is just from struggling with himself always show through. Overall, he's not bad to look at, though much of his appearance comes of as just average, besides the blue eyes that are uncommon among the Pernese.
Personality: Temaeis can be a difficult young man to grasp. He doesn't seem to be eager to help anyone in that regard, either, not truly opening up to hint at the duality of his nature, which makes it clear figuring Temaeis out is difficult because he himself has had little progress in doing so.
He's not shy by any means, but certainly wouldn't count as social either. He lies somewhere in between, with a calm and straightforward manner. He makes conversation easily enough and can find being around others decently enjoyable, even if he tends to keep others at an arms length. He's definitely not a 'let's talk about our feelings' kind of guy. He tries to convey a certain sort of strength, and even pride, most of the time.
He will stand tall and tell you what he thinks and plays things by the book, having little patience for foolish individuals or troublemakers. He shows respect where it is due and is polite to women. His very traditional upbringing shows through in his thinking that women need to be taken care of and protected from harm, perhaps even to a vaguely sexist point at times, though it's never done consciously. He is quick to stand up for what is right when others are clearly in the wrong.
He ends up as the defender often, standing up for others and rules and tradition. Shame he can't seem to stand up for himself as easily. He does his best to be the very picture of strength and masculinity, but when the chinks in his armor are discovered he crumbles quickly under pressure. He tries to seem as uncaring about it as he can, but he really does value appearances and others opinion of him very highly. In situations where things are more morally ambiguous, he tends to wallow in indecision. He's wishy washy any time his own opinion is the precedent and not just what someone else has told him is right. He's terrified to make the wrong decision.
And he hates others questioning him. Judging him. Especially when they actually get close to truths he doesn't want to admit. Truth is, Temaeis is somewhat of a coward deep down. He puts forth what courage he has to seem strong, when the young man underneath is indecisive and insecure. He wants to be leader, or at least, he was told he should want to be one, but he doesn't know where he stands, let alone how to stand alone and lead. He easily fits into the role of follower and part of him wants to believe there's nothing wrong with that as long as he can do some good, but is scared this makes him seem weak. He overthinks things constantly, worries all the time. Below the brave face he is just a nervous wreck who is scared to death others will see this part of him. All that well-constructed confidence on the outside is just a facade, and he in fact has no faith in himself.
He's really quite self-deprecating, but for the sake of seeming strong like he should be, keeps up appearances. And when others begin to needle him too much, poking at insecurities he's already made bad enough by himself, ugliness can ensue. He gets defensive about things, starts snapping at others when they make accusations or comments about his character he doesn't like. One of the biggest ways to set him off would be to question his sexuality. Temaeis really has no interest in girls, but due to the traditions pounded into him, and the idea that being gay would make him 'weak', he refuses to accept the possibility of liking men. Tragically, this leads to a homophobia that flares up when he's confronted with homosexuality.
That scared part of him panics when other people stand a chance of figuring him out or are pushing too many of his buttons, exposing too many of his flaws. These are times he is most likely to lash out and act irrationally or selfishly just to save face. And then he just becomes even more ashamed of the petty coward he is when all is said and done and he's left to calmly think over the way he reacted.
And so, Temaeis is many, many things. And many of those things, he wishes he wasn't. And while he's inclined to think of himself as a completely wretched human being, he's far too hard on himself. The rare person he actually lets close, as well as those who catch him on good days where he's not threatened and not concerned with saving face can see a side of him that might be called sweet. He treats others better than he treats himself and really does like to see those close to him happy. He's just not good at showing it and scared that if he does too much, he'll let people too close. Because surely if they knew what he was really like, who would even bother with him?
History: Born to a Beastcrafter named Telleis and a woman named Maeri, Temaeis grew up at Cliff Hold. The couple had fallen in love when they were young, were wed, and had five sons before Maeri fell ill. It was when their youngest son was just a toddler that she started to feel unwell, and what started out looking like just a cold quickly intensified. There was nothing the healers could do. She died and left behind her husband to raise the five young boys himself. And while it was tragic, as she was well-loved and her family mourned her for some time, it was hardly some of traumatizing experience. Their father taught his boys, no matter how young, that while they were all sad to lose her, they still had to be strong. That's how life was. Things happened. All sorts of things, even bad ones, but he was clear on the fact that he wasn't going to let it destroy any of them.
So Temaeis grew up in an environment that was very testosterone-driven. Their father taught all the boys how to be men, tutored them in his traditional ways. And while Temaeis would never say anything to disrespect his father or criticize the way he was raised, he... struggled- moreso than his siblings. It didn't help that he was so small growing up. He would get teased by his older brothers, and even Elareis, who had almost always been bigger than him, despite the two turns he had on him. And of course he was told to just take it like a man. He did what he could to make his father proud, but found himself falling short quite a bit, or maybe that's just how he felt. Either way, it did nothing to help the nerves or insecurity he developed as he grew.
His first "crush" happened when he was thirteen, though Temaeis would never use that word. Still young and going through that awkward time of puberty, he didn't quite understand when his feelings for one of his best friends started changing into something besides friendly regard. But at least it seemed to him as if this friend might have felt the same. The crush was short-lived, though, as his brothers quickly began to tease him for it. At first he tried to ignore their snide comments, but during one particularly brutal teasing session he blew up, denying anything they had to say about him and his feelings, and when Mael wouldn't listen to him, he swung at him. After a split lip for Temaeis and broken nose for Mael, their brothers managed to separate them, and they had to answer to their father for what had gone on. Mael bitterly made another comment about Temaeis liking boys, and Temaeis could see the hint of disgust and shame that flashed across his father's face in that instant. He was quick to deny the claim again. And the next day when he saw his friend, the other tentatively touched his cheek and asked what happened, to which Temaeis responded by slapping the hand away and telling him in no uncertain terms he never wanted to speak to him again. The whole affair is a black spot in Temaeis' memory, a huge source of shame and guilt and... he doesn't even know what.
Turns passed, Temaeis growing through his teenage turns into the person he is today. And when the search pair that chose Temaeis for candidacy gave the offer, he could hardly believe it. He was on the older end of the candidacy spectrum, but perhaps this way he would be able to prove himself in ways he hadn't before. He accepted the offer and made his way to Solace Weyr to await the clutch he was to stand for.
Family:
Father [45]: Telleis
Mother [deceased]: Maeri
Brother [25]: Talim
Brother [23]: Mael
Brother [17]: Elareis
Brother [12]: Lariel
Character Number: One!
Name: Temaeis (T'mae? T'mis? Fff, someone help me choose an honorific please! Sohorribleatthis...)
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Homosexual (But he claims otherwise)
Rank: Candidate
Wing: Groundcrew
Status: Healthy
Appearance:
Too short to be anything but barely average and built in a way that could be called 'lithe' at best and 'scrawny' at worst, Temaeis dearly wishes he had been grown a half foot more and bulked up at least a little bit more. He's always been the runt of the family, though. He didn't hit his growth spurt until his late teens, and counts his blessings to be the 5'9" he is instead of the 5'2" he was for much of his early teens. He's always worked hard to keep himself in shape and is fairly athletic, but he's just not built to be a big guy. Working out just makes him lose wight instead of bulking up, forming toned muscles into a lithe form. His eyes are blue and hair is brown. He keeps it cut so it never gets too shaggy, since it tends to be out of hand enough as it is. It tends to rest in a disheveled mess, though he does take care to make sure it's not too messy. Though it's not like he cares that much how it looks or what people think of how he looks in general.
...What? He really doesn't... Why don't you look convinced?
Okay, so maybe he does. He deliberately tries to keep himself looking good, but not like he tried too hard. Which is rather paradoxical, but such is Temaeis in a nutshell. He carries himself tall and strong, in a way that would seem to fit a bigger man. When no one is looking or he's just stopped caring, though? He slouches. In fact if one bothers to look closed enough, they can spot the signs that there's more going on with him. He tends to have bags under his eyes, and subtle little signs of how tired and strained he is just from struggling with himself always show through. Overall, he's not bad to look at, though much of his appearance comes of as just average, besides the blue eyes that are uncommon among the Pernese.
Personality: Temaeis can be a difficult young man to grasp. He doesn't seem to be eager to help anyone in that regard, either, not truly opening up to hint at the duality of his nature, which makes it clear figuring Temaeis out is difficult because he himself has had little progress in doing so.
He's not shy by any means, but certainly wouldn't count as social either. He lies somewhere in between, with a calm and straightforward manner. He makes conversation easily enough and can find being around others decently enjoyable, even if he tends to keep others at an arms length. He's definitely not a 'let's talk about our feelings' kind of guy. He tries to convey a certain sort of strength, and even pride, most of the time.
He will stand tall and tell you what he thinks and plays things by the book, having little patience for foolish individuals or troublemakers. He shows respect where it is due and is polite to women. His very traditional upbringing shows through in his thinking that women need to be taken care of and protected from harm, perhaps even to a vaguely sexist point at times, though it's never done consciously. He is quick to stand up for what is right when others are clearly in the wrong.
He ends up as the defender often, standing up for others and rules and tradition. Shame he can't seem to stand up for himself as easily. He does his best to be the very picture of strength and masculinity, but when the chinks in his armor are discovered he crumbles quickly under pressure. He tries to seem as uncaring about it as he can, but he really does value appearances and others opinion of him very highly. In situations where things are more morally ambiguous, he tends to wallow in indecision. He's wishy washy any time his own opinion is the precedent and not just what someone else has told him is right. He's terrified to make the wrong decision.
And he hates others questioning him. Judging him. Especially when they actually get close to truths he doesn't want to admit. Truth is, Temaeis is somewhat of a coward deep down. He puts forth what courage he has to seem strong, when the young man underneath is indecisive and insecure. He wants to be leader, or at least, he was told he should want to be one, but he doesn't know where he stands, let alone how to stand alone and lead. He easily fits into the role of follower and part of him wants to believe there's nothing wrong with that as long as he can do some good, but is scared this makes him seem weak. He overthinks things constantly, worries all the time. Below the brave face he is just a nervous wreck who is scared to death others will see this part of him. All that well-constructed confidence on the outside is just a facade, and he in fact has no faith in himself.
He's really quite self-deprecating, but for the sake of seeming strong like he should be, keeps up appearances. And when others begin to needle him too much, poking at insecurities he's already made bad enough by himself, ugliness can ensue. He gets defensive about things, starts snapping at others when they make accusations or comments about his character he doesn't like. One of the biggest ways to set him off would be to question his sexuality. Temaeis really has no interest in girls, but due to the traditions pounded into him, and the idea that being gay would make him 'weak', he refuses to accept the possibility of liking men. Tragically, this leads to a homophobia that flares up when he's confronted with homosexuality.
That scared part of him panics when other people stand a chance of figuring him out or are pushing too many of his buttons, exposing too many of his flaws. These are times he is most likely to lash out and act irrationally or selfishly just to save face. And then he just becomes even more ashamed of the petty coward he is when all is said and done and he's left to calmly think over the way he reacted.
And so, Temaeis is many, many things. And many of those things, he wishes he wasn't. And while he's inclined to think of himself as a completely wretched human being, he's far too hard on himself. The rare person he actually lets close, as well as those who catch him on good days where he's not threatened and not concerned with saving face can see a side of him that might be called sweet. He treats others better than he treats himself and really does like to see those close to him happy. He's just not good at showing it and scared that if he does too much, he'll let people too close. Because surely if they knew what he was really like, who would even bother with him?
History: Born to a Beastcrafter named Telleis and a woman named Maeri, Temaeis grew up at Cliff Hold. The couple had fallen in love when they were young, were wed, and had five sons before Maeri fell ill. It was when their youngest son was just a toddler that she started to feel unwell, and what started out looking like just a cold quickly intensified. There was nothing the healers could do. She died and left behind her husband to raise the five young boys himself. And while it was tragic, as she was well-loved and her family mourned her for some time, it was hardly some of traumatizing experience. Their father taught his boys, no matter how young, that while they were all sad to lose her, they still had to be strong. That's how life was. Things happened. All sorts of things, even bad ones, but he was clear on the fact that he wasn't going to let it destroy any of them.
So Temaeis grew up in an environment that was very testosterone-driven. Their father taught all the boys how to be men, tutored them in his traditional ways. And while Temaeis would never say anything to disrespect his father or criticize the way he was raised, he... struggled- moreso than his siblings. It didn't help that he was so small growing up. He would get teased by his older brothers, and even Elareis, who had almost always been bigger than him, despite the two turns he had on him. And of course he was told to just take it like a man. He did what he could to make his father proud, but found himself falling short quite a bit, or maybe that's just how he felt. Either way, it did nothing to help the nerves or insecurity he developed as he grew.
His first "crush" happened when he was thirteen, though Temaeis would never use that word. Still young and going through that awkward time of puberty, he didn't quite understand when his feelings for one of his best friends started changing into something besides friendly regard. But at least it seemed to him as if this friend might have felt the same. The crush was short-lived, though, as his brothers quickly began to tease him for it. At first he tried to ignore their snide comments, but during one particularly brutal teasing session he blew up, denying anything they had to say about him and his feelings, and when Mael wouldn't listen to him, he swung at him. After a split lip for Temaeis and broken nose for Mael, their brothers managed to separate them, and they had to answer to their father for what had gone on. Mael bitterly made another comment about Temaeis liking boys, and Temaeis could see the hint of disgust and shame that flashed across his father's face in that instant. He was quick to deny the claim again. And the next day when he saw his friend, the other tentatively touched his cheek and asked what happened, to which Temaeis responded by slapping the hand away and telling him in no uncertain terms he never wanted to speak to him again. The whole affair is a black spot in Temaeis' memory, a huge source of shame and guilt and... he doesn't even know what.
Turns passed, Temaeis growing through his teenage turns into the person he is today. And when the search pair that chose Temaeis for candidacy gave the offer, he could hardly believe it. He was on the older end of the candidacy spectrum, but perhaps this way he would be able to prove himself in ways he hadn't before. He accepted the offer and made his way to Solace Weyr to await the clutch he was to stand for.
Family:
Father [45]: Telleis
Mother [deceased]: Maeri
Brother [25]: Talim
Brother [23]: Mael
Brother [17]: Elareis
Brother [12]: Lariel